Coping. . .
I found this on my desktop today.
It was my first valentine's day gift to Max. I made him a calendar before I left for NZ, of every day I'd be gone, and every moment I'd miss.
It amazes me, that reading it a year later, I pin pointed EVERYTHING I miss about Max now. . .
I've been single for four whole days now. . . and for the first time, after reading that today, I didn't cry. I didn't cry! I'm so proud of myself.
I hope this means I'm healing. I hope this means I can get over this hump. I hope this means I get over my soul mate. Like I told Max in an e-mail, I'm so glad we were together even if for a short two years, because the spiritual side of me believes that we suceeded together in another life. . .
I wish I was living that life.
February 18th Wednesday: “Leaving on a jet plane, don’t know when I’ll be back again.”
February 19th Thursday: First day away from home and I’m still on the plane.
February 20th Friday: Starting to get homesick, and having Max with drawls.
February 21st Saturday: I miss you.
February 22nd Sunday: I miss our talks at night. February 23rd Monday: I miss wrestling.
February 24th Tuesday: I miss your quirky remarks. February 25th Wednesday:I miss kissing you before I sleep.
February 26th Thursday: I miss you tickling me. February 27th Friday: I miss your voice.
February 28th Saturday: I miss playing with your hair.
February 29th Sunday: I miss playing Star Wars.
March 1st Monday: I miss hugging you.
March 2nd Tuesday: I miss running my nails across your chest.
March 3rd Wednesday: I miss watching TV with you.March 4th Thursday: I miss pinching your butt. :P
March 5th Friday: I miss kissing your neck.
March 6th Saturday: I miss watching you play video games.
March 7th Sunday: Oh, how I miss you.
March 8th Monday: I miss you blowing on my tummy.
March 9th Tuesday: I miss spending my day at class, and coming home to you.
March 10th Wednesday: I miss waking up to your handsome face.
March 11th Thursday: I miss your dong. I mean, your wang. I mean. . . you know.
March 12th Friday: I miss walking with you, everywhere.
March 13th Saturday: I miss wearing your shorts.
March 14th Sunday: I miss your smile.
March 15th Monday: I miss annoying you.
March 16th Tuesday: I miss making out. Oh, how I want to make out.
March 17th Wednesday: I miss Pearl Jam. Look what you’ve done to me.
March 18th Thursday: I miss going downtown with you.
March 19th Friday: I miss holding hands.
March 20th Saturday: I miss being your favorite.
March 21st Sunday: I miss tickling your feet.
March 22nd Monday: I miss harassing you, or was it the other way around? ;)
March 23rd Tuesday: I miss you.
March 24th Wednesday: I miss standing next to you and feeling like the luckiest girl in the universe.
March 25th Thursday: I miss you spooning me.
March 26th Friday: I miss being your baby.
March 27th Saturday: I miss the way you make me laugh.
March 28th Sunday: I miss thumb wrestling.
March 29th Monday: I miss hearing you take a shower before I fall halfway asleep.
March 30th Tuesday: I miss tickling your arm pits.
March 31st Wednesday: I miss lounging in my pajamas with you.
April 1st Thursday: I miss blowing on your neck while you try and work on your computer.
April 2nd Friday: I miss playing.
April 3rd Saturday: I miss cuddling in your blankets.
April 4th Sunday:I miss the smell of your room.
April 5th Monday: I miss you telling me I’m yours.
April 6th Tuesday: I miss being there for you, and you for me.
April 7th Wednesday: I miss hanging out.
April 8th Thursday: I miss being the object of your jokes. :P
April 9th Friday: I miss watching you when your not paying attention.
April 10th Saturday: I miss purposefully brushing my hand against your crotch.
April 11th Sunday: I miss biting your lip.
April 12th Monday: I miss sleeping in your bed.
April 13th Tuesday: I miss watching you write passionately on your computer.
April 14th Wednesday: I miss being able to take cat naps, and have you wake me up.
April 15th Thursday: I miss touching your face.
April 16th Friday: I miss calling you kitty.
April 17th Saturday: I miss pressing my face into your chest.
April 18th Sunday: I miss being there when your anxious. ;)
April 19th Monday: I miss watching you become handsomer every day.
April 20th Tuesday: I miss feeling your breath on the back of my neck when I sleep.
April 21st Wednesday: Most of all, I miss you, so very, very much.
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